35 weeks w/ my rainbow baby 💛

Kristin

Since I've been in the third trimester I've been extra emotional, but I've also been thinking about my babies that I've lost (2 before this current pregnancy). For some reason getting closer to delivery I've been feeling guilty for being pregnant, like I'm loving this baby more than my others, if that makes any since. Now I cant stop replaying the events that happened when I lost my previous babies. And I'm scared shitless that something bad is gonna happen during delivery, and I'm gonna lose my baby again. I lost my last one really early and naturally, the one before that was my first time getting pregnant and I lost him at 13 weeks and had to have a D&C done and got an infection from the surgery, and was hospitalized for days. Currently I'm having a little girl, and things have been fine except for my blood pressure spikes , but they have been watching it. But because I'm feeling guilty about having another baby I feel like I can't love her as much as I should, maybe I'll love her more when she is here but I'm afraid I won't. Idk what to do, just looking for advice or some re assurance that it gets better.