Okay so my boyfriend has been working with his father for the last 5 years doing carpentry, he doesn’t make great money doing it, it’s not the most stable in our climate, and his father got seriously injured last year and they didn’t work for months which put financial strain on us, and now they’re limited on the kinds of jobs they can do which cuts down even more on his income. My boyfriend and I are having a baby like literally any day now. He heard about a really awesome opportunity a few weeks ago and he spoke to his dad before the interview and his dad told him to go for it and not to worry about him. My boyfriend went to the interview, was offered the job, talked it over with me and his dad and accepted, he told them he needed two weeks with his dad to wrap up the last 2 jobs they’re doing and so his dad can get another person. He’s due to start next Monday.

After my boyfriend spoke to his dad and they talked about finishing up the jobs and what his start date at his new job was went ahead and accepted a huge job, that he can’t do himself, and is saying he doesn’t want to hire anybody, and now every day they work together he tells my boyfriend how he’s put him in a hard spot and that he’s stressed, and doesn’t know how he’s gonna be able to do these jobs he’s accepted after they already discussed him taking the new job. He’ll make comments about being abandoned, and how it’s gonna affect their life etc.

My boyfriend is all stressed out now and it’s horrible. Its like every time my boyfriend stops being stressed and feeling guilty and accepts that he’s doing a good thing for us and our kid, his dad starts making him feel horrible for the choice he’s made.

It’s driving me nuts but I don’t want to say much and make it seem like I’m badmouthing his dad or putting pressure on my boyfriend to pick between our new family and his family. I just don’t find it fair to give a blessing and then make comments saying his son is abandoning him and stuff.

It’s been such a tough time because my boyfriend is getting such anxiety and is feeling so stressed out and it just resets every day. We talk through it and he feels confident and then the very next day it’s back to square one.