Fuck you.

Same shitty story but I just need to say it.

I was going through a rough time after a break up. A friend told me I needed to stop sulking and meet new people. Her best friends’ wedding anniversary was coming up and the couple was planning a get together at their place.

I was hesitant at first but she persisted and I figured what the heck. It’s a wedding anniversary party. It might be a little awkward but she and her best friend were lovely. I might actually have a good time.

I show up. It was a little awkward. Some people bought their kids. There was a DJ and a huge table of snacks.

Everything seemed normal until it wasn’t. One minute I was in control and sober and the next, I wasn’t.

I lost time. I don’t remember much. I can’t remember the number of guys that approached me but I remember them being different.

Some days I wish I could remember how it happened. Other days I wish I could forget the whole thing. I wish I could crawl into the darkest hole and disappear. I felt like garbage. I was garbage.

A few months later, the guy who helped me get home, mentioned how the guy who supplied him with roofies moved or some bullshit. I couldn’t pay attention because I couldn’t believe what he just confessed to.

As soon as he said it, he retracted and said it was a joke.

We never spoke after.

So ladies, I was fucking drugged at a party with kids where two people were celebrating their marriage.

You are literally never safe.

That whole time, I was made to believe I got drunk off of two drinks and couldn’t handle myself. I was ashamed of myself. I lost respect for me. I ran from social settings. I hated myself for it. I still hate myself for it.

That was almost 5 years ago. I wish I could forget it.

I wish I never went to that party. To all the people who talked behind my back and said I was acting out because I became single, fuck you. Fuck you for not checking on me and fuck you for judging me and fuck you for making me feel trash.