Do you think..

Do you think it’s okay for the guy to be jealous and not the girl?

My guy just went out for coffee with his ex girlfriend and her mom and I got a little pissed off because he won’t even give my family a chance (loves his ex’s family though. Still calls the mother ‘Ma’) and my jealousy came out because I know she still likes him and has texted him that she still loves him and that she misses him.

But if I were to go for coffee with a guy, or even talk to a guy, he would think I was sleeping with him and get beyond pissed! He would call me a cunt and then throw my past mistakes from years ago in my face. This has led me to alienate myself from the world.

I start a new job tomorrow which has a high chance of me working with guys. He is livid about that! And keeps thinking I’m going to hide talking to them or that I’m going to flirt. We’ve gotten into a few fights about it and it’s frustrating and exhausting to deal with. I just want this full time job so I’m not struggling financially (he doesn’t work, doesn’t want to work. He says he’s trying to focus on his ‘mental health’).

So it’s okay for him to talk to other girls and go for coffee with them. But I’m forbidden to talk to them. Even if I hang out with a girl, he hates it and wants to be there with me to make sure I’m not talking about him.

Update:

He got home about 2hrs ago, I managed to piss him off cause I asked him what was wrong when I know he doesn’t talk about feelings. I’ve been feeling like shit, crying and having a hard time shutting my brain down so I went to try and talk to him and he is more interested in listening to random people sing for a karaoke contest then even talk to me.

So yeah, he doesn’t want to work.. he wants to be famous. But he doesn’t want to take steps to get there. He wants it to fall into his lap.

And the whole ‘dealing with his mental health’ is bullshit. He won’t make a doctors appointment and from a note a doctor wrote when he was 14yrs old, he just said it was probably his serotonin levels being low. I said that there is a pill that can help balance it. He said no, cause what if that’s not it.

I’m trying to be supportive and understanding. But all I seem to be able to do is trigger him and make him hateful and angry. I’m exhausted.

Can someone tell me what it means to truly be loved? I haven’t felt it in a while and books are becoming unreal.

Update #2:

So today was my first day at work (yay training!) It was boring as fuck! He didn’t want me talking to guys, I said no problem, I probably won’t be talking to anyone. Turns out I was able to connect with 3 girls over lunch as we all showed off our fur babies. I told him this cause I promised I wouldn’t hide anything. He got pissed, messaged all his friends until one replied. He was gone before I even got home. And won’t be home until probably 2:30am. So yeah.. I’m feeling pretty down now.. again.

Update #3.. and probably the last update..:

He hasn’t really been home much. He can’t stand the fact that I work with guys now. We have been fighting non stop. I’ve been crying and telling him if he is so miserable and unhappy and doesn’t give a fuck about me then leave. He says he wants to but has no money to leave cause he wants to leave this town. I told him to get a job and save. So he’s gonna wait apparently for me to fuck up and talk to a guy and then he’s going to bang a random girl and take his leave.