Abusive past relationships affecting current relationship

I’m engaged to the most wonderful guy, I know he would never lay a finger on me. I know he loves me so much and tries to understand me.

But in the past I’ve been physically and mentally abused by ex boyfriends, friends and family.

Aggression terrifies me, even if it’s not towards me because of all this in the past. I’ve tried to go to counsellors and such but they downplay it and say I wasn’t really abused.

My family refuse to admit any abuse and say I made it all up. Both how they abused me and others did. Some have even said I probably caused the bruises ans such myself just make people think it happened.

My fiancé was getting annoyed, not at me but because of something really silly. My anxieties been high the past few days and it set me off, I got upset.

He got annoyed cuz I was upset and I tried to explain to him. He seems to think after 4 years with him I should be ok.

I know he won’t hurt me, but shouting, aggression of any kind sets me off. Even when my neighbours argue I get on edge.

I just don’t know how to get him to see that it’s and involuntary response?

I am due to have a mental health assessment this month btw because of this and other things before anyone suggests that