Freeing myself from the TTC chains

So, my husband and I recently had an ectopic pregnancy. The tube burst and I had emergency surgery. I lost 3 liters of blood and almost died. A few weeks later we went to a reproductive endocrinologist, and we found that my other tube is blocked. I had 3 other miscarriages before the ectopic. The doctor recommended that we stop TTC (for fear of another ectopic), and we start saving up for IVF.

At first we were crushed. My husband and I want a child so bad. We cried together, and after the tears were shed, we started making a plan.

So, now we use condoms and we've been saving money. We're not TTC anymore, and our sex life is so much better. We're about a year away from having the money we need for

IVF. (IVF is expensive, not covered by our insurance, and we don't want to take out a loan).

I still cry from time to time, but I'm happy to be alive. It's so freeing to have a plan of action and answers. It's freeing to know the steps we need to take to get our rainbow baby. It's been so freeing to be intimate with my husband without the pressure of TTC.

To all of the women (regardless of where you are on your journey), good luck and I love you. I support you and I hope you get the baby you've been praying for.

For me, I'm going to focus on living, and loving my husband. I love reading your pregnancy announcements, and I hope to join you all one day soon.