Okay so I feel like the worst person ever. I’m not excited about being pregnant. I’m not excited about being a mom. I am absolutely terrified. I always said I didn’t want to have kids because I was always so scared I would be an awful mom. I know everyone will say “well if you didn’t want a kid you should have done something to prevent it” well yeah I know that. At the time I though I would be ready for a kid not necessarily right now but soon. I was thinking okay I’m graduating college, going to get a job, it’s time to get married and start a family. It just felt like the next step. And then I found out I was pregnant. I always say I’m excited and I can’t wait but honestly I’m terrified and sometimes I question what God saw in me to make him think I was ready to be a Mom. I just don’t know how to feel and the fact I’m not excited makes me feel like the worst person ever. Sorry this is so long. Just needed to get it off my chest.