Having a hard time moving on....

My ex is very manipulative and quite frankly I think he is a narcissist. We were together for 2 years and things ended badly and it was recent. I think about him often and still wish in a crazy way it could have worked. He cheated in the beginning with an acquaintance of mine but I stayed with him and we tried to moved forward. (Tried is the operative word since I never really got over it). Since then it’s just been a slew of problems. A drug problem, an anger problem (him) and my self worth plummeting. I’ve gone from 124 pounds to 108 now because I never felt good enough. My lack of trust for him made things super hard as well. We had an unplanned pregnancy and I ended up miscarrying in October so that was confusing and hard to deal with. I just need some inspiration. Maybe some stories of love after a toxic relationship? Or even just helpful ways to try to move forward. Thanks guys ❤️ I look at this picture and I just see a sadness in my eyes.. I hope to get the happy girl I used to be back 😔