I'm scared to test

As

My period is 4 days "late", my cervix is super high and soft, I have loose stool (the first symptom with both of my pregnancies). But I had a miscarriage last month at 6 wks and I'm totally sure it's just my hormones still fluctuating from my mc even though I had a positive opk this month. I don't want my period to come, I want to be pregnant. But I absolutely refuse to take a test, I can't have another negative.