I didn't know BDSM was a thing. I didn't know how much it described me or how much It described my SO. I thought I was messed up for it. I didn't know there was a community of people similar. From reading these post I also understand my SO more in things he does and now that I'm actually completely understanding my SO and what I like is "normal" I feel more comfortable and confident. As a child I was raped by 2 different people and another molested me. With my ex I thought I'd never have sex. I didn't trust him or any guy for that matter. I met my now SO and I completely trusted him. I allowed him to take my virginity. It took a while but one day he choked me during sex and I had came instantly. I finally told him some of my fantasies. He told me how much he loves that I'm like that and he's actually into those things but never did them because of my past and didn't want to over step my boundaries. He is a Dom and sadism? (He likes to control me,whip me,choke me, verbally down grade me,ect.) Im honestly so in love with him. He never over steps his boundaries on purpose. I have PTSD and he's learned the looks and what I do during flash backs and he always stops being aggressive when that happens and starts babying me. I read about so many guys over stepping boundaries...girls IDC who your having sex with but make sure they know their limits before having sex. And if your just starting out I know many people have multiple partners when it comes to this but I recommend if your first starting do it with someone you trust. And for everyone in this community thank you. Y'all are really helping me realize more about my So and even myself. This is really amazing.