I have never actually unlocked my boyfriend’s phone, and I still haven’t. But I can see the icons of notifications on it. I saw one that looked similar to the Tinder icon, and hit the side bar on the phone.

Look what is was...

After he told me he would never cheat on me. We started having some issues/some concerns a handful of months ago. He said we could work on them, that he loves me very much, and that he would never cheat on me.

**UPDATE**

I wanted to mention that we live together. Been dating going on 2.5 years.

Thank you again! Really, it helps to see what you think, and I greatly appreciate the support!

***2nd Update***

So it ended up eating away at me a little, and I brought it up. A few weeks ago I told him that I had wanted to talk about working on our sex life a little. Like spicing things up or more specifically, I wanted us to have a conversation about what we both really wanted in bed. I love to please, and I wanted to do a little better for him.

So I brought things up by asking him if we could talk about things like I wanted to a couple weeks ago (our work schedules have been out of sync lately so we really only eat and sleep together lately).

He said, “yeah, what kind of things do you want to talk about? The naughty stuff?”

I said, “Yes, but also just in general.”

He asked if I was unhappy in our relationship. I said I wasn’t but that I thought he was. He asked why I thought that, and so I brought up the Tinder.

He was like, “Oh my goodness, you look like you’re going to cry, hun!” “I don’t want to bother you about this right now before you have to go to work, but I think we should talk about it so you’re not worried.”

***ADDED TO and NEW INFORMATION, PLEASE READ***

He told me that he was thinking about asking me if I was interested in spicing things up with a third person. But he wanted to see if anyone was even interested in him. Specifically, because he didn’t have the best of luck on the dating apps before. It took him roughly 2 years to find me on one. So he just has never really felt that he was attractive. He doesn’t have all the bulky muscles that some guys have, and he seems to think that that is what is especially attractive on a guy. So because of his prior experience with the dating apps, he had doubt we would find anyone that would want to join us, because of him.

He said he didn’t mean not to ask me first, before creating an account, and he said he would be happy to delete it that moment, if I wasn’t even interested at all in that, or if I was uncomfortable with him having that account. He knows he should have asked me first. And well guys do dumb things without thinking, and not one of you can deny this. Girls do dumb stuff too, it’s not just the guys.

As far as a threesome goes, we’ve been talking about working on finding ways to spice up our sex life. It wasn’t really out of the blue.

When he brought it up the other day, he made sure that I knew that I did not have to agree to a threesome or anything that I did not want to do.

And I know in most of these cases the guy/girl can’t/shouldn’t be trusted, but this man has been open with me about everything (even through this process!) whenever we have our talks, from the start. The flaw is we need to have our conversations in order for some things to be brought up though. It’s just a little difficult for us to bring up harder things to talk about or naughty stuff, because we’re not sure how the other is going to take it. We are just like that.

On my own, I checked out his Tinder without swiping right or anything. It’s a very basic profile, literally an old pic, and a sentence or so. If he were really looking for anything, his profile would be fleshed out like it was when we met. He’s quite a writer.

With him, I surprised him and asked to see his account and messages on there. Guess what? He opened the app right in front of me. He was doing exactly what he said he was on there. He only even had 1 match on there. And she seemed like one of those people that just wanted people to add on their Instagram.

As someone asked, I am 25, and maybe a little naive, but I’m mature for my age, and so is he. I don’t believe in calling someone guilty without first having unreasonable doubt. It’s really not hard to do.

Too many people these days don’t know how to talk to their Significant others, be it a husband, a boyfriend, something else. Too many just jump to conclusions, and refuse to even look at the circumstances, the actual facts. I’m sorry to say, but over half of you ladies would have dumped my loving man, just over seeing those messages. Just think about that. Some people are actually trustworthy, it doesn’t mean they are free of making stupid mistakes here and there. Just saying.

I kept my mind open the entire time, good and bad, to what could be beneath his words.

I do greatly appreciate all views on this. I like to keep an open mind, in case I am blinded by our love, and finding it difficult to see past what I know to be true. But I am sad, but not hurt that any of you would call me stupid, blind, a moron, did I forget any? The comments that only said things like that, well thank you for helping others see this post that actually had something to comment to help me. And I’m sorry, but if you didn’t read all of the post, you definitely missed very crucial points. Yes, I write too much, but things need to be explained.

We talked for two hours straight about all of this, and I trust him. We looked at his phone to calm myself, and I even offered mine to look at. I actually have a decent man.

Thank you for everyone that posted. I do appreciate the support I got from you!