I (f19) got into a heated argument with my bf (m22) over something stupid & I told him that I wouldn’t take him to work out of spite, so he had his own boss pick him up & I started beating myself up with negative thoughts about myself because I felt bad for letting the argument get that bad.

When I noticed that he had left on bad terms and I didn’t drive him there because I was too busy sobbing in my room like a child. I had an anxiety attack and when I regained my breath, I started cleaning non-stop.

I swept and mopped the floor, and re arranged the whole kitchen, I moved all the appliances just so I could clean behind them. Washed the dishes, vacuumed the rugs, cleaned the bathroom spotless. Every corner, every nook and cranny. My back was in pain but I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to feel the pain. When I wanted to sit down, I scrubbed harder. I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned until there was absolutely nothing else that needed anymore cleaning.

What’s wrong with me...