I need to let off some steam. It’s half 5 in the morning and I can’t sleep. So the other day it was my birthday. Not a special one but a birthday nonetheless. My boyfriend who I live with had told me I couldn’t plan anything on certain dates as he had this whole plan for me sorted and I was so excited. No one has ever done anything so thoughtful! So I thought.

It gets to my birthday and he didn’t wake up for ages. When he did he muttered a couple of words and went on his phone. That instantly put me in a bad mood. I just wanted a cuddle! He gives me a card to open so I do. I’m a big romantic. I like soppy words and roses and all the rest. This was just a tiny card with barely any writing in it. Didn’t even say ‘I love you’ by the card or by him. There was also no presents off him but I assumed this was because he had stuff planned so obviously there wasn’t enough money for presents, no problem.

We got out and the next few hours are okay. He takes me to the cinema to watch a film. I’m not a great film watcher and don’t really like going to the cinema but he planned it so it was nice. Obviously we can’t talk though and I wanted to spend quality time with him.

He then says he has to go and get my main present and surprise for the week. And it was really great! My two friends who are also a couple flew over so they’re here which is nice. Except for they’re staying in our studio, so me and my boyfriend have no intimacy. Don’t get me wrong I’m so happy they’re here but I guess because I didn’t know I was just unprepared.

The next day I ask what the plan is. There’s no plan apart from a super early dinner reservation so we made that later. I was racking my brains trying to think of something to do, although I didn’t really think it was down to me bc he was supposed to have planned the whole weekend. We went out anyway. Came back and got ready for dinner. Dinner was not nice and somewhere I’d never have picked to eat.

The past two days since my friends have been here we’ve not talked at all. He’s not held my hand or given me a cuddle or made me feel special. I feel like his mate and it’s just four mates spending time with each other. I blew off plans with other friends because I was under the impression that we were doing all these fun surprise things. I’m literally free all of today and all of tomorrow because he’s not actually planned anything. We’ve been together a year now and he didn’t have anything planned for that either. I just feel underwhelmed. Like for his birthday I bought him a lovely card with gifts and took his to a drift car event and took him for a meal. It was personal to him and he loved it. So far the same thought has not been put into my birthday. My friends were coming over anyway, he didn’t plan that.

I just wanted to get it off my chest. I’m trying so hard to stay happy and positive but I feel like my boyfriend isn’t acting like my boyfriend and I feel upset. He built me up for these amazing surprises he had in store and I’d rather he just didn’t. I’d have had more fun knowing my friends were coming so I could plan the weekend and do fun stuff instead of leaving it in the hands of someone who says they care but is having a hard time showing it at the mo. Am I being unreasonable? How can I talk to him about this without hurting his feelings?

*EDIT*

Thanks for everyones comments I appreciate it! I hope I didn’t come across as rude or unappreciative of his efforts. I’m more upset that we’ve just had no time for us. He’s acting like a friend and not a boyfriend that’s what is making me feel so negatively I think. Even at that we’ve barely talked so I don’t even feel like he’s a friend atm.

A few people have said we don’t know each other very well but we were friends for roughly a year and a half before we began dating so we knew each other fairly well before we decided to date. I think that’s what makes it worse is that he does know me better than anyone else but yet he’s got me so entirely wrong. Last year right before we got together he got me so many inexpensive but thoughtful gifts that I adore and still make use off and took me for lunch and it was perfect. Honestly all I wanted was a nice dinner just the two of us. Anything else would have been a bonus. I’ve got two days left so I’m trying to grin and bare it and I’ll talk to him after. What makes it worse it’s our anniversary today (forgot it was the 9th) and I know we’re not doing anything to celebrate that either so I’m pretty bummed out.