So my boyfriend and I are breaking up, or taking a break. I’m not really sure exactly. We both love each other and neither of us want this but we have to. There’s been a lot that’s happened between us in the last 3 years. Neither have cheated but we’ve both flirted with people because we felt like the other wasn’t attracted to the other. We’ve both lost trust in each other, him more than me. I think right now it’s more us getting space than actually breaking up. We ended up unintentionally living together when what we needed was space to ourselves. I started working overnights at a gas station and it made him nervous because there were creeps and the potential to get robbed. My bosses took every precaution they could, doors were locked by midnight and I had to buzz people in, no more than 2 at a time. Even with this he was scared, and I was too. My uncle was murdered working the overnight at a gas station. I live about a 2 minute walk from the station so he stayed at my place to feel better because he could get to me fast if I needed him. But that ended up forcing him to live with me which we were not ready for. I quit that job and we decided this was best. We’ve become too stressed out because we never actually healed from what we’ve done to each other, and we never healed from what we’d been through before we got together. He’s someone that I legitimately cannot imagine my life without, I can’t imagine finding someone as amazing as him. I’m posting because I need advice. I’ve isolated myself to make him feel mite secure and I legit have 3 friends-my roommate, him, and my best friend that just moved to Florida (I’m in NY). I want to make friends and start doing things but I also have severe social anxiety, I honestly don’t know how to make a friend or how to meet people. I’m in college but I’m always too scared to talk to anyone. And I need things to keep me busy because my life really does revolve around him. All I do is work, go to class, and watch TV. I used to self harm and I’m worried I’ll go back to that because I’m extremely depressed and don’t have anyway to distract myself. He’s actually the one that helped me stop and has kept me from going back. I don’t want to go back, I want to be find myself and be strong but I don’t know where to start. I have zero self confidence and can’t think of a single thing I like about myself. Do any of you have any advice on what to do? How do I figure out who I am without him?