Although he lives in the same town as me, I’ve seen him less than ten times in my whole life. I’m nearly 30, 11 weeks pregnant and my SO reckons I should let him know. I really don’t want to tell him. It sounds silly but he let me down so much over my lifetime that I don’t want my child feeling that same hurt. I have a very supportive family and family in law surrounding me and my partner. I feel like it would be going to tell a stranger that I’m pregnant. He sent a text last Christmas just saying ‘Merry Christmas’. The last I heard from him was 4 years before that, no communication in that time whatsoever. And that was just a text saying he was in bar in town if I was around (at 2am) and before that there was a six year hiatus. Am I wrong in not wanting to include him? Or am I being selfish?

UPDATE

I finally made the decision last week to write out a long long text message (only contact detail I have of his) and outline the reasons why I’ve made the decision to not feel obliged to keep in contact with him and asked that he doesn’t contact me just when he feels like it (ie every 4-6 years on a whim). I did tell him I was pregnant via text and added what else I’ve achieved during his hiatus as a father. I didn’t do it to be mean but I had a lot on my chest I needed to let him know before I cut him off for good. Anyway this is the response I got...

‘I’ll delete your number. Good luck with the child. I hope you do a better job than your mother did with you’.

Firstly, I never asked him to delete my number. Secondly, my mother was brilliant and to have one last dig at her was unnecessary. It confirmed my feelings about him as a person and I suppose I’m sharing this because I want anyone else in the same position to feel they can make a decision like this if they feel the need to for their own life happiness. You don’t owe anyone anything even if they’re your biological parent. I feel a weight and a sense of guilt has been lifted off my shoulders and at 34 weeks I’m now fully enjoying my pregnancy and expecting a little boy that will be truly truly loved by all those around him. I hope this is helpful to someone somewhere! Much love to all 💕