So a little back story, when my son was born we lived a state away from family. We moved back home when he was around 6 months, but he still stayed in daycare part-time.

We’re now expecting baby two, and my son is still in preschool. It’s not financially feasible for us to afford two kids in daycare, so until my husband finishes school and gets a better paying job or my son starts public school, my MIL will be watching baby for a few hours a day between when my husband goes to work at 2 and I get out at 5.

I love my in-laws. They’ve been incredible help and support since we moved back, but we don’t always see eye to eye and they blatantly ignore my parenting wishes with my son (FIL loves to give my 3yo pop, they would let DS nap at 5pm and MIL takes a “what she doesn’t know doesn’t hurt her” approach). It got to the point where we had to find a full-time preschool option for DS so they had him less.

I brought all of this up with my husband and he agrees, but he also won’t step forward and put his foot down, which puts me in a weird position. I feel like I should start approaching the issue with MIL now, before baby is born. I also don’t want to come off as ungrateful because I do truly appreciate their help, I just wish they would listen to our parenting decisions. Anyone been through this and can offer some advice? Thank you!