This isn’t a question and I don’t believe I’m going fishing. But, i feel like if I don’t say this then it will consume me.

My depression is winning.

My anxiety is winning.

I no longer want to leave the house, it’s getting harder and harder to get out of bed, to shower, to care.

I’m tired of feeling this way, I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of letting his defeat me, but i can’t fight back. I have no more fight left in my body.

I’m not suicidal, I don’t want to end it. I have too much to live for.

I’m starting to go to therapy (again) in a few weeks.

But, my illness has never consumed me as much as it does right now.

I’ve canceled countless appointments because I can’t physically make myself get out of bed, to shower, to get dressed, to leave the house.

I ... just... can’t.