I am so fucking tired and done with everything. I’m drained emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I’m done. I want to just disappear for a time but can’t, because my family and no money. My 7 yo is the most draining of all of them while my 20 mo twins can give me moments of happiness. I keep trying to do nice things for/with my oldest but the way he behaves and treats me i don’t want to. He has me so drained that I look forward to weekends and letting him go to nana and papa’s house even though he’s far from deserving that type of reward. Medicine can only do so much and even then it’s for my anxiety issues. I have nobody to spend time with outside of my family and without them. Even when I leave home with my husband taking care of the kids I still have to get on them when I get back so I don’t even get a reprieve from running errands alone. I hardly have time to even sit down and read or sew any of the clothes I’ve been wanting to make for my kids, can’t even make anything for myself and I’m still told I’m mean and a jerk by my 7yo and that he doesn’t like me or love me. I’m so fucking done that I don’t even care any more. Fuck it he wants to believe I’m mean maybe I should show him what mean looks like (I won’t but dear god I may be pushed to the point I will).