Is it wrong or am i crazy?

Ok quick background and then my question. I am going to be 36 next week. I am a mom 2 two older step kids 19 and 18 and a mom to 3 boys and a girl ages 13, 10, 8 and 3. I have been off birth control since January 1st because i switched shifts at my job and haven't made it to my doctors to get a new prescription. I'm late and been taking tests every other day while waiting for my period or a positive test result. As of today I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant and will be finally starting in the next day or so. But now thinking I'm starting i am extremely disappointed and and upset that I'm not pregnant. My husband is fine with the idea of having a baby if I was pregnant but we really don't have any plans for having any more kids. Is it wrong for me to be so disappointed or crazy?? At the same time I know i have enough kids and it life is crazy hectic and i was completely fine with my family the way it sits until this scare.