depressed after a breakup

so basically, i am writing this post because i need some help and don’t know if what i am experiencing is normal.

i’m 17 and met a guy at my job in july of last year, and we went out on a few dates. nothing was serious, and i didn’t really have feelings for him either. however, as time went on he confessed his feelings for me and i rejected him at first, causing us to go through a rough patch. for the next 5ish months we went through a series of ups and downs. our relationship was definitely toxic and he was not good for me. over this period he repeatedly asked me to be his girlfriend but i knew i couldn’t so finally, i cut off our relationship.

i was mostly fine for the first week after cutting him off. however, after that i started to get extremely sad. i cried almost every day, didn’t feel motivated to keep working out, and got extremely irritable towards my family. i went out with another guy but the whole time i just compared him to the last guy. i can’t help but feel like i lost my first love. our relationship was unhealthy but i doubt if i’ll ever find someone who feels the same way for me and someone that i click with as well as i did with him.

i don’t know if i’m going through a depression right now or not, but i just feel so empty and numb inside without him. my choice to end our relationship haunts me every day. it’s been over a month and i don’t know if i should be over it by now.