Is it fair that my husband doesn’t want to be the one to get fixed after we have our final child?

Question

I think it’s only fair that since I have to go through the months of growing the children and then birthing them that he should be the one to get fixed and not me. He said that it’s bullshit and he’s not cutting his balls when there’s no reason why I can’t just get fixed. He only wants two kids and I would be fine with more but getting a tubal litigation is pretty permanent isn’t it?? And I thought a vasectomy could be reversed? Maybe I’m wrong but still don’t think it’s right I should have to be the one to get fixed.

Answer

Just because he doesn’t want to get a vasectomy doesn’t mean you should be forced into a tubal ligation. It is harder to reverse a tubal ligation, so I understand that part, but he has the choice to not have that happen to his body, too. He can’t force you into permanent options, either. I would suggest a long-lasting BC option, like an IUD, if you guys can’t agree. If you have any doubt that you want to have more, though, I wouldn’t get a tubal ligation or a vasectomy. My husband and I agreed that he will get a vasectomy after 4 children, but we discussed that before we ever started having babies.

Answer

Of course it’s fair, it’s his body. What’s not fair is you trying to use the excuse that you’re birthing the kids to try to guilt him in to altering his body.

Answer

His body, his choice 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Answer

Sounds like neither of you want anything that permanent. There are other options.

Answer

A vasectomy is much less invasive compared to a tubal. The down time is shorter and comparing the pain that he’ll feel compared to yours, he’s got the better deal. I’d push the vasectomy. They are “cutting his balls” men are so fucking weird. He sounds like a little baby.

Answer

A tubal has way more potential for side effects than a vasectomy. But if neither of you are comfortable making that kind of change to your body, time to look at other options. 
(FWIW, my husband is happy to get snipped after witnessing me deliver our two kids. I don’t do hormonal bc well and don’t want a copper IUD so I said it was condom time and he was very interested in the vasectomy after that)

Answer

My husband and I had this discussion and thankfully came to the agreement for him to have the procedure instead of me....its much more "invasive" for a woman to go in for a T.L.

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I personally, at this point in my life, wouldn't want either my husband or myself to do any procedures. And also if you're the one to do it, it's still a good possibility youd become pregnant and it would be a tubal. 😞 I would just remain on BC. I dont think hes being reasonable though.... again all personal preference. Hope it works out !

Answer

It’s a two way street. Neither of you should feel forced or do something you don’t want to do. I can understand him not wanting the procedure done but it is absolutely wrong on his part if he tries to say you must do it.

Answer

His body, his choice. Your body, your choice. You just have to live with the consequences of your decisions that's all.

Is it fair that my husband doesn’t want to be the one to get fixed after we have our final child?

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