I feel like I need to write this just for that one person that may be going through what I went through. I attend a small school with a junior class of 68 students so everybody knows everything about somebody. Therefore ever since freshman year everyone knew about my struggle with reading and writing. I have dyslexia which is different for everybody but with me I switch my D’s and B’s or my W’s and M’s it also happens in math sometimes a 78 looks like a 87 to me.

It’s less noticeable now that I’m older but that doesn’t mean I don’t slip up every once in awhile.

In 9th grade a new girl came to our campus and we became friends. Her personality was way different then mine I was more shy and smiles and she was more blunt and eye rolls but we clicked with our love for reading. Over the years I guess as she’s gotten comfortable she’s started to crack jokes about our friends. If someone’s shorter then her she picks at it if someone has richer parents she picks at it and with me she liked to pick at my biggest insecurity.

First she started with calling me a nerd, but it didn’t really bother me, because I was proud to be were I was in my reading level. ( I’m at a freshman college reading level) Then just recently she started to make comments like, “ Flip the book backwards you’ll read it easier” or “ Of course she doesn’t know what’s going on because she can’t read”. After a few months some of our ‘friends’ started to join in. Even on my birthday they bought me a cake and I was excited but I would be lying if I said my stomach didn’t clench when I saw the 18 was backwards on the cake. It pains me to say it but I laughed,I let it slide,I turned a blind eye when she picked on me or my friends because I thought she was my friend. I thought it was a joke and I was just being sensitive whenever it hurt or I cried when I got home.

After months of this I finally couldn’t hold back the anxiety and tears that I would shove aside. I stopped reading around them. I refused to read out loud in class for the fear of messing up and being called out. My reading level dropped because I would panic on the test and I just wasn’t the same.

But I still refused to say I was being bullied. Because I wholeheartedly thought I wasn’t after all they were my friends right? Wrong. A friend is someone who lifts you up not tear you down or point out your insecurities. Do not let people shut you down for their own laughter. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes do not let them blind you. Because you are so much stronger then you will ever believe.