So long story short... I’m TERRIFIED of hospitals, doctors offices, etc. to the point where I can’t sleep because if I fall asleep I normally one: dream of being in a hospital. Two: feel less secure and can’t allow my body to be less tense to drift to sleep. I see a therapist weekly and another every two weeks.

I had a crazy pregnancy... everyone keeps telling me it’s fine. That I went through it fine but if I hear a heart monitor I literally go right into a panic attack. I can’t answer my phone to most phone calls because my obgyn used to call me and leave me messages that something was wrong with my babies heart. So now I just continue to be scared.

I don’t talk about it much, mainly just go crazy on my own because some people tell me I’m just doing it for attention but I swear I’m not. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep freaking out. Certain sounds, certain smells send me back to freaking out. I’m mentally exhausted.

I’m trying to get better I just don’t think I ever will. 😭😭I truly think I’ll be broken forever.