I honestly want to know if theres somebody with a similar story out there. On Feb 12 I was on my way to lunch when my water broke, but just a trickle which led me to believe that I had peed myself until I noticed in the restaurant that my chair was wet eventhoigh I had gone to thw bathroom and had emptied my bladder. Fastforward a couple minutes and I was admitted into the hospital where they confirmed that my water broke. In the room the first hour went by with mild contractions and by the second or third hour (my memory is hazy) my doctor recommended we use Pitocin to increase contractions and hope that they have a pattern because as of now they were random. Minutes in it was really working, my contractions were hell all of a sudden and try as I might even my breathing excersices werent working.

I dont know how much time passed but next thing I know the doctor is recommending that I use Demerol to relax my muscles because the baby was pretty high eventhough I was ready. I have barely any resistance to paon medication, which I share with the staff, and they gave me the lowest amount. Thats when everything turns into a deep blur...

I remember almost nothing of the next couple hours.

I remember calling my husband twice to hold my hand as the Pitocin raged hell in my system. Then nothing.

Followed by a sudden need to poo. So I called my husband to tell the nurse because I didnt want to go on the bed. Then nothing.

Suddenly my doctor is calling my name. I remember the nurses dressing her while she explained that baby was right there and that it was time. Then nothing.

I felt the bed moving and my name being called so that I could move further down and nothing until I felt a cold splash of water and the explanation that they were getting me ready.

Then nothing.

I remember pain and the doctor calling my name telling me to push. To stop whimpering and to put my neck on my chest and push because I wasn't doing much pushing. All of a sudden I recall throwing myself back to breathe and my contractions where stopping. I heard the concerned voice of my doctor far away so I felt scared for thr baby and once I had the next contraction I pushed even thoigh it stopped mid way. I felt my baby sliddimg painfilly out of me and the doctor telling me to open my eyes.

I recall them placing my beautiful baby on.me but I dont remember skin to skin, which apparently I did do because theres picture evidence. I dont remember much of my husbands face during the last moments but I do know he was there. I remember him cutting the cord but I dont remember much of my baby after that first moment whem they placed him on me.

I dont remember my whole birth experience and have had to rely on my husbands memory to piece things together.

It feels like I lost something.

Has anybody have had a similar experience?

In all Im grateful baby is out and healthy at 38 weeks but I'm thinking on changing doctors Fter this experience.