Let me start off by saying that my mom and I were visiting family 4 hours away for an entire weekend because my cousin was having her first baby shower this past Sunday. My mom has been sick and tired from us helping to set up the party. On the ride home, I tried to take over the driving so she could relax for the last two hours(she wanted to drive for the first two.) But I made a mistake at a toll and accidentally revved her engine. I apologized repeatedly. But then my mom started to laugh at me in my face, which made me snapped and I told her not to fucking talk to me. I really hate people laughing at me and my family was making fun of me all weekend so my self confidence was already at an all time low. They were laughing at me and saying I had “no titties” when I’m actually a C cup. They’re all just like DD, G, and H cups. Well, then we got into a screaming match and she yelled at me to get off at the next exit. After telling her I was fine to drive, she kept screaming for me to get off so I complied. When she took over, she yelled at me for the remaining two hours at the top of her lungs about how she only asked for one fucking thing, I can’t do anything right, I was putting our lives in danger (she thought I was crying while driving - I wasn’t, my voice was just shaky because I’ve never yelled at anyone before, especially not my mom.) She then kept yelling (still at the top of her lungs) that she was amazed that I haven’t been in a car accident before since I’m so “scared” to drive. I’m not scared, I’m 23 and have been driving for quite awhile. I was just nervous because she drives a big truck which I’m not used to. By this point I’ve long stopped screaming at her and have already apologized profusely for telling her not to fucking talk to me but tried to calmly explain I cannot stand when people laugh at me. Well, she wasn’t having that and got even more angry. So I told her I just wasn’t going to talk because anything I say just provoked her. Guess what? It provoked her. At this point I was gripping onto my seat, terrified, and flinching. This is the first time I had ever yelled because I actually don’t like confrontation and yelling in general. Near the end of the grueling long trip home she said “Let’s just agree we were both assholes.” This wasn’t her saying sorry for how she spoke to me, and she wanted me to just forget about the last two hours not her yelling. I probably screamed in total for 10 mins and she screamed for the last two hours of the trip... so I had my boyfriend meet me at a Ruby Tuesday parking lot instead of her dropping me off at my house that I own with my boyfriend. During that, I told her I put $50 in her purse to pay her back the $50 she put for me for the baby shower gift since she had stated that she “does everything for me and had only asked for one thing - for me to drive.” Which I was going to do, since I knew she was tired and sick. Well, that made her angry and she threw the money at me. She then proceeded to say that it wasn’t about the “fucking money.” At that point, after I grabbed my belongings I walked off and had my boyfriend drive us home. I still told her “I hope you get home safely Mom.” and she responded with “yeah, sure, THANKS” after exclaiming how rude I was for walking off. Granted I was rude, but I was DONE.

I have not talked to my mom in two days, but my 24 birthday is this upcoming Monday. I know if she doesn’t come, it’s just going to make our relationship even worse. But I don’t want her to come if we’re not on good terms and she’s just going to keep yelling at me. What should I do? Am I wrong for this? Am I overreacting? When I got home from that night, I cried my eyes out. But this is what she would do to me as a child and she was treating me like a child. She would DEMAND that I switch off my emotions and be “happy” and “okay” when I wasn’t. I also don’t need her charity and want to tell her not to do anything for me if she’s going to throw it back in my face.

I do love my mom, but I will not be spoken to that way.