Encouragement Needed

Hey ladies! I need encouragement and love right now. My husband and I have been trying since August with no success. I really thought this was my month, that this was it for me. I had tender breasts, spotting, nausea, etc. This is the first month that I’ve had symptoms. But nonetheless, my period came (early even); and it hurts so much to have this disappointment month after month. I tried to not let myself get excited, but of course, I did get excited with all the symptoms and “what if’s”. And it isn’t like you can put this out of your mind, when you’re the one in your body, feeling every little symptom that could mean that you’re finally going to be a mom. At this point, I honestly just feel like throwing away the ovulation tests, throwing away the pre-seed, and calling it quits on all the tracking and trying. I want to be pregnant so badly, but it just isn’t happening. The truly sad part is that I’ve felt this ominous cloud my whole life that I wouldn’t be able to have a baby... I don’t know where it came from, but it started since I was young. Being a mom is the one thing that I’ve always longed after and dreamed about, but I’m starting to believe that maybe conceiving a child like this just isn’t in the cards for me. I’m believing in God for whatever lies ahead, but at the same time, my heart is breaking if this isn’t in my plan. I would really appreciate any prayers sent up on my behalf. I’m keeping all of you trying-to-be mamas in my heart and prayers. Know that even if I don’t know you directly, you still have at least one person praying and rooting you on in your journey.