Need advice

Ok so my husband and i have been having issues the sex has gotten boring life is overwhelmimg and just life has taken a tow well ive been dreaming of an ex from years years ago like out of the blue! Like why now?! And i start to reminise about our relationship we were extremly young but he had a very dominate personality he took charge of our relationship kids and everything and i think i miss that and i dont want to cheat or nothing like that but how can i get that from my husband ive told him go ahead be alpha take over i am the disciplinary to the kids i am boss of the house i say what we buy and dont buy most women would love to have that power but i want my husband to take it maybe a little spanking during/ before or after sex a little yes sir here and there like what do i do to get him to take charge! I told him im ok with a domestic discipline relationship have yall ever heard of that it's a real thing but he said no he is just so plain sametging everyday no surprises no excitement