Sex advice

I recently bought a vibrator and i love it, when I’m by myself i can get myself into a place to have an enjoyable orgasm. I can talk freely and as dirty as i want too and i feel comfortable. When I’m with my boyfriend, I’m not comfortable with myself anymore.. i can’t talk freely anymore and i have a hard time telling my boyfriend what i want him to do, I’m very critical of myself during sex, i can’t orgasm, and it’s even harder with my vibrator in front of him. I just don’t feel like myself 😔 He’s so awesome and is so loving and nice to me. I can’t let go around him, I’ve had bad sexual experiences in the past so i have a hard time trusting him(that he won’t hurt me, make fun of me) he’s never hurt me ever, amazing man. I think I’m the reason I can’t orgasm with him.. has anyone else struggled with this before? I don’t know how to talk to him about it 😔