Sorry in advance for this being so long but please if you have time, please read this!!! I need help.

I recently broke the no contact I had with her. I felt like i was hurting myself more by not speaking to her. We agreed to start going to counseling together to hopefully improve the relationship. She had done a lot of things to me (especially during my early childhood) that I still need help recovering with. She was the one that has been looking for therapists and found one for us for tomorrow...do you think this is too soon? Or is the earlier the better?

It honestly seems like she understands now that I’m serious on needing her to change and I have seen a very small improvement. But then again I really believe she is a narc so I don’t know...

I haven’t seen her in a year time and have had a baby since then (which she has not met).

There are some things I need her to change about herself before I let her back in completely and around my child. I want to make the right choices in order to hopefully change her. But apart of me really wants her to meet my child.

I was thinking of only allowing her to see my child over FaceTime or allowing her to meet my child only one time to show her what she’s missing out on. The problem with her though is she takes photos and likes to post them all over social media and act like everything is ok and she is apart of my child’s life (which I don’t want).

I moved to a new home and I don’t think I should even allow her to home inside or know where I live right now. My whole point is I want her to understand I am serious because I really need her to change and I feel like if I just let her back in she won’t continue down the right path that she is on, as well as EVERYONE around me and her are going to think that I was the crazy one for not involving her in my pregnancy and won’t believe the extent of things she’s done to me.

What do you think the best thing to do is? Do agree with counselling? Should I start it right away? Should I let her come over? Should i introduce her to my child? Should I go to her house? Should we just talk privately? Should we just meet at a restaurant? I need advice!!

P.s. I know they say narcissists never change, but I have faith. It’s my mom too, so I want to believe in her. She has been seeing her own therapist for almost a year now, and wants to start counselling with me. I believe it will help.

Thank you so much. I’m sorry it’s long, I just really need help!