I'm a SAHM to my 16mo son, and I've been in a rock band for the last 8 years and I absolutely love it. We play gigs most weekends and travel all over the world. Finding out I was pregnant was definitely a surprise as I was on the pill at the time, but my boyfriend and I were over the moon and so excited to be parents.

One of my sister's is also in the band with me, and her first reaction when I told her that she was going to be an aunty was "what about the band?". It hurt, a lot, but I understood that change can be scary and reassured her and my other band mate that things wouldn't be drastically different; yes I'd need time away from gigging for a little while, and I may not be able to make every single show abroad that we're offered etc but if we could all be willing to compromise and work together then I was happy to do everything I possibly could to keep the band going.

I stopped playing when I was 29w pregnant, and then went into early labour at 32w. Everything was pretty much fine and we were all home within three weeks of my son's birth. During my time out we'd gotten someone to fill in for me in the band, which I was happy to do because obviously it was my decision to have a baby and I didn't want the band to suffer because of that. When my son was 4 weeks old (and still 3+weeks away from his due date) we got offered a very last minute gig as main support to a semi-famous band and were told that representatives from two different record labels would be present. The next day I had my first practice and two days later we played the gig. It was supposed to be a one off show for me but it felt good to be back and so, despite the fact that I was still healing, still bleeding heavily, breastfeeding, and beyond exhausted, I was back in the band full time and gigging every weekend again.

Things went smoothly for about a year. I didn't miss a show, didn't need or ask for anything out of the ordinary. My now fiancé watched the baby while I gigged and I slept in the bus on the way to shows. I even bought a hand pump and would sit in our dressing room or the toilets expressing to make sure my boobs didn't get too full while I was out.

When my son was 13 months old I left him with my parents and travelled to the other side of the world for some gigs. It was horrible, but the commitment was made before I got pregnant and I had to (for myself and my band) see it through. When I got home 3 weeks later I just felt differently. I didn't want to miss him like that ever again and was worried that he may start to feel abandoned if I suddenly disappeared for weeks on end, especially as he was now entering the clingy stage. I voiced my concerns to my band and they obviously didn't get it. Since then I've been trying to do things differently. I love my band but my son is now my priority. I've started making sure I'm home the same night or only away for one night instead of two, and have turned down a week long run of gigs in Europe. The problem is that my sister and friend still just don't get it. I feel like they see my son as a burden, despite how much my family and I have sacrificed and tried to make it work. The gigs in Europe looked bad and I wouldn't have been overly keen to play them either way, and I know the girls felt the same, but it's been turned around to make it seem like we're only not playing them because of my son. There have been some other gigs that I couldn't commit to (like one on my son's birthday and another on a day that he had a hospital appointment) and I've been happy for someone to fill in for me on those. Yesterday I had to get our fill-in to cover for me super last minute as my mother injured her knee and couldn't take care of him, and it's just made me really sad that my band mates didn't really care if it was me playing or someone else. At the last gig I played my band mates were trying to give me pointers on how to improve certain parts of songs because the fill-in had done it that way and it sounded better, which I don't mind really, but they are songs that I wrote and put my soul into. Last month I mentioned that I may have to bring my son with me while we were away for 4 days as his dad couldn't miss work and my parents have a holiday booked, and we don't really have anyone else we can rely on. Instantly the girls started going off about how the environment isn't child friendly and that no other band ever takes their kids, and that I was just being OTT.

They've been really unsupportive since I had my son and half of me wants to walk away; for 8 years I've given my everything and more to this band and these girls and the second that I need something in return, I'm being "unreasonable". However the other half of me is just scared that my commitment and hard work has gone unnoticed, and that even after all of these years, I am very easily replaceable.

I feel like they try to make things difficult for me so I'll have to say no to gigs or will have to try and change travel arrangements etc, just to prove their point that things did change. I've never received any form of praise or thanks from them for anything- not for aplaying up until I physically couldn't anymore, not for returning less than a month after giving birth, not for playing shows perfectly and without complaint when I hadn't slept for literally days- and I know that kind of thing shouldn't matter, but a few weeks ago my sister publicly thanked our other band mate and started a round of applause just because she cancelled one day of work so we could play a certain show, and today I've seen my friend has made a post from our band page thanking the other two girls for such a good gig, and it's just hurt me.

I don't want to give up but at the same time, when do you admit that enough is enough? My son is more demanding now than he was a year ago and I cant- and don't want to- leave him with my parents or fiancé for days on end anymore as he's getting upset if I'm not there seeing to him when he wakes up and asking "where's mama?" at bedtime. My sister doesn't see him ever and I feel like she's forgotten than I'm her sister as well as her band mate.

Have you ladies ever given up a huge part of your life for your kids, or did you make it work no matter what?