*** TRIGGER *** there is a picture of my sleeping baby in this post.

For some reason telling my story makes me feel better, so here we go —

I am 24 with two incredible little boys.

- One that was born May 12, 2015 with a system full of meth (biologically my nephew) I brought him home at 2 days old & completed adoption in Dec. 2017

- One that was born November 11, 2016 by me. Completely healthy, 37w3d

Asher Logan (left) Noah James (right)

My boyfriend does not have bio kids — he has been my bestfriend for 10 years & was the god father of both of my children. Now they call him dad. ❤️

We found out we were expecting our first baby shortly after New Years into 2019. (cd 1 was Dec. 3rd 2018)

We were SOOOO excited! After ttc for over a year ❤️

I was ecstatic, but that’s an understatement for him..

We had an unexpected ER trip for cramping at 6w, that showed an empty gestational sac —

Next week was filled of anxiety and googling what that meant.. I prepared myself for the worst.

We had our first doctored US at 7w that showed us a fetal pole & they saw heartbeat of 139bpm

Everything was going perfect. We were obsessing over <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.baby">baby apps</a> & updates.

My next dr appointment we were supposed to hear the heartbeat for the first time, but she said it was still too soon when we couldn’t find it.

She then offered to play around on the machine for us “off the record” because she didn’t know how to read it just how to see the baby. So at 9w1d we got to see our baby again — she couldn’t measure anything or play the heartbeat but we saw it pumping clear as day. We watched him wiggle and fell in love. ❤️

Everything was going perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

Feb. 13, 2019 — I had been feeling cold sick for a few days and just so happened to call off work. I was cramping just a little bit, so I took 2 Tylenol @ 9am & went back to sleep for a few hours.

At 11 I woke up in a little bit more pain & figured maybe it was just because I hadn’t ate. I’d be craving Steak N Shake chilli for WEEEKS, & boyfriend finally took me to get it. Sitting in the drive through I felt a like a gush and an immediate pain relief. (Checked myself quickly) just wet. Reaaaaally wet. Got my food & went home.

As I was getting out of the car I felt another, this time it left a spot on the leather of my seat. I wiped it to look and saw blood. My heart sank. We ran inside to set the food down & we were going to go straight to the ER. I had to see just how much blood it was so I went to the bathroom.

Boom.

Everything came out at once.

My boyfriend bit the bullet & pulled what was in the toilet, out.

There was our angel.

So tiny (our app said he was the size of a LEGO man this week, 10w2d)

10 fingers 10 toes.

TRIGGER - baby in picture 👇🏻

After calling an ambulance from loss of blood and 8 hours at the hospital, my miscarriage was marked as natural & complete.

I am now 10 days post miscarriage, very faint hpt (tracking to negative) and then we’re giving it another go for our rainbow baby.. 🌈

Bleeding is off & on —

I know everything happens for a reason but I’m trying really hard to remain positive & stress free. This was my first miscarriage ever & our families first loss on either side. I haven’t stopped taking my prenatal vitamins & am praying I have a happy womb for our next baby. I hope it happens sooner. ❤️

Thanks for reading our story.

Sebastian Wayne Walters

2/23/19

👼🏼