Super sad. I’m always apologizing for the way I feel. This time I walked away and wrote it down...

Do you remember?

Do you remember when we thought it was our last goodbye?

I do.

It was the worst feeling and hardest moment of my life.

Now, I’m pregnant with your child and with you again.

But it’s like you don’t remember.

You’re not with me.

Even when you’re near, your mind is somewhere else.

Of course, there are the good times, the impromptu hand-picked flowers and packed lunches.

But I’m still alone.

I’m worried for our child.

I’m afraid that they’re feeling all this pain and sadness.

And because I love you so deeply,

I FEEL THAT MUCH WORSE.

I’m constantly feeling like I’m letting not only you down,

I’m letting us down.

Crying so hard -

Trying not to -

I need to be happy.

If not for you or me,

But our baby.

I know, you do a lot for me.

But I can’t talk to you about this,

Trust me, I’ve tried.

You said you were listening.

This is not about the drinking.

This is not about the drinking.

This is not about you coming home late.

This is about what I want our child to see,

You.

You have a way of bringing me to my knees

You can make me forget all of the bad.

But I’m here - again.

All alone.

I’ve started singing to the baby.

I’m never alone now.

It’s not just me, it’s us, forever.

My thoughts may seem selfish, but I feel the child would agree.

We need each other.

I need you to remember.