October 20th was my due date, my doctor said that I was probably going to go late into labor considering it’s my first baby/pregnancy and usually the first timers are late. We had 3 stretch and sweeps done by the time October 20th came around and I wasn’t going to get another at my next appointment. I felt like it was getting me no where with getting this baby out being only 1cm dilated and my cervix still high/not really thinned out.

October 23rd was my last doctors appointment, my parents had flown up a couple days before that to witness the birth of my little girl (being also the first grandchild on both sides of the families). My mother came to my appointment with me and got to hear the heartbeat, we then discussed inducing me at the hospital on the 30th of October and set an appointment up at the hospital for October 26th at 9AM to get a scan done to see how baby was doing in there and if we need to do an induction sooner than later.

October 25th my (now) husband had to work that day and I decided to show my parents around the town (I had been doing this for a couple days now being on maternity leave and having nothing better to do), my parents had never been to our province before so I gladly drove them around and took them to see ionic “tourist” things. Around 2:30/3pm I felt a bit weird and we decided to call it a day as we were all a bit tired and my parents dropped me back at my home before heading to the hotel they were staying at for their visit. I decided when I got into the house that I would use the bathroom, so I went and used it, cleaned up and came out only to find that I was trickling fluid little bit by bit every minute or so. I waited until my hubby came home (3:15ish) and I felt sick to my stomach when I told him what was happening. I was so nervous but I knew the hospital probably wouldn’t take me right away. So we decided to wait it out, we packed our bags and I took a bath(stupid me). By this time I’ve gone through a pair of pants, underwear and some pads to keep myself from leaking more.

We then got dressed and headed out to the hospital(thankfully only like ten minutes away), when we got in they did some paperwork with me and put me on a monitor for contractions and baby’s heart.

Baby was doing good and contractions coming and going about 5-7 minutes apart ( I couldn’t feel because they weren’t that strong), so they look at me and couldn’t find anything of amniotic fluid and did a stretch and sweep for the last time. The doctor ended up rupturing my membranes and I bled but they sent me home. I had a hard time sleeping and went through a dozen underwear, a couple pairs of pants and more pads. By the time I get to sleep it’s almost midnight, I wake up at 2am and take a bath. I stay up and wait till my hubby gets up and I’m leaking way more than I was yesterday. We get ready for our appointment and when we get there I explain that I’m still “leaking” and they tell me they’re going to take a test. 15 minutes maybe and the nurse comes back to tell me that it’s amniotic sac fluid that’s leaking and they need to induce me today because it’s dangerous to go more than 24hours with your water broken/leaking. I’m nervous but so excited that it’s finally time to meet our little girl! I’m 6 days over due at this point so I’m like “okay! Let’s get our bags!”

They tell me there’s no rooms right now to be placed in but they’ll call me, we go home for a couple hours and head back to the hospital around 2pm. They start me on oxytocin, we make ourselves at home in a two bed room and stay the night. Contractions starting coming 3-5 minutes apart and became painful by 10pm, I asked for morphine and an hour later I asked for it again. It didn’t really help me, I couldn’t sleep and was drifting in and out while breathing through my contractions. At this point I’m only 3cm dilated now. So I’m progressing but very slowly.

(The next day) October 27th comes, they suggest to walk around the hospital so I do. My partner goes to leave to go check on our animals, he tells me he’ll be right back but I’m so scared at this point, Im exhausted from lack of sleep, I’m in pain and I’m an anxious wreck so I’m grabbing his shirt and sobbing my face into his chest but he calms me down and I watch him go. When he gets back I text my parents and do my best to keep them updated as we are moved into a labor and delivery room from our recovery room. I asked for laughing gas, it’s around 2pm and by 415pm I asked for an epidural.

They check me. I’m now 5cm dilated and stuck. My baby’s heart rate is dropping with every contraction now and slowly going back up, it did this about four more times and they tell me that they don’t like to see that. They told me that my baby’s umbilical cord is getting pinched somewhere and they need to do an emergency c section. I feel my heart racing as I stare at the baby heart monitor and watch it dip and go up again before I sign my paperwork and they tell me it’ll little bit as they prep the operating room and themselves. By 440pm we are down in the operating room, my husband gets gowned up as I lay there staring at the ceiling. I hear the team counting their equipment and ask me a few questions like my name, date of birth and if I’m allergic to anything. I’m shivering from the epidural as I watch them put a sheet in front of my face to keep me from looking at what they’re doing and I close my eyes. My husband is holding my left hand and he’s watching them operate on me, theres a large wave of pain as it feels like they’re pushing very hard down on me then I hear it. At 455pm, I hear a cry and I’m holding my breath as tears stream down my face as I’m overwhelmed with happiness, they tell me to open my eyes and I do and I look over to my left. They’re holding her so I can see her for the first time and she’s so fucking perfect, her umbilical cord isn’t cut yet, she’s not cleaned , she’s crying, she’s red as she screams but she so perfect to me. They wrap her up and my husband gets to cut the cord before he brings her in a blanket to me so I can hold her for the first time.

I never thought I could love something so much that was so small, I never thought she could teach me so much. I never thought that I would be a good mother because of my mental health ( I have anxiety and depression that I take medication for) but I was wrong, I was so wrong about everything and I’m so happy I was wrong.

She’s been the best thing in my life to happen, I would go through everything all over again just for her.

Nothing went according to my birth plan but I’m glad she’s here, she’s safe and healthy!

Aela

October 27th 2018 @455pm

Via Emergency C Section

If you made it to the end, thank you for reading! I wasn’t sure if I would share my story but I finally decided that I was ready to tell it!