Am I wrong?

Question

So my husband and his dad own a business together and his dad asked me to kind of be their receptionist because they’re super unorganized, but he said he can’t pay me. I’m a stay at home mom, I have an online job that I actually get paid for (it’s not much but better than 0 dollars) and I have a household and a dog to take of as well. I told my husband I don’t think I want to do it since I won’t get paid and he got pissed at me and said it’s rude I don’t want to help them make the business successful and that I’d help them make more money in the long run. I don’t think he realizes how full my hands are with a two year old alone + an online job and the house to take care of! Am I in the wrong here? Just looking for an outside opinion 😫

Answer

Family business always works a little different. Since your husband is part owner, if the company does good your family will in turn do good. I think putting in sometime to help the family business and not get paid is kind of normal. Technically you are getting paid if your hubby is bringing home money 🤷‍♀️

Answer

I wouldnt work for free.

Answer

I think you made the right decision. That would be alot for anyone. It's hard enough taking care of a toddler , house dog and your online job. Plus im sure you do the shopping, cooking and doctor appointments. He is not being understanding at all. I mean maybe if you felt like it on 1 day a week you could help out for a couple of hours while he watching your child and tends to the house on his off day i would tell him that and see what he says especially if he only gets 1 off day compared to a mother who has 0 off days lol

Answer

Don’t do it. It’ll get messy real fast.

Answer

Since it is your husbands business, will you benefit from it in the future if it is successful?  I would do everything I could to help since this could help provide for my family.  Can you do it part time?  Could you compromise on pay or set up a time frame to help out?

Answer

Yea, I think you’re in the wrong. You may not be getting a paycheck, but the success of the business most definitely affects you. You’re going to feel the profits through your husband when they come. Without you, they may not reach success. If they have to hire someone on payroll, that means less money to your husband who supports you.  Family businesses work entirely different than a traditional job.

Answer

If this means a lot to him, maybe you could help out part time, or for a few months, if he starts taking care of some of your responsibilities at home.  After all, at the moment you already have 2 jobs.

Answer

I really really hate when family can’t compartmentalize. The business is separate from family. They wouldn’t ask a stranger to work for free. It’s their business, not yours. You can be supportive without directly acting on the business side of things , which you’re doing (caring for your children and home, bringing in other income). 
How I know:
My husbands family ran a concrete business for years. The uncle owned it and my husband’s dad, brother and cousins all worked for the uncle. Eventually the pay just wasn’t enough anymore - zero raises over decades and making way less than most concrete companies but working from dawn until dark in the summer. Finally my husbands dad and brother said look, we can barely pay bills, my brother in law just had a new baby and my father in law couldn’t afford to retire anytime soon despite his age. The uncle has a huge ranch, the cousins were all given free cars and homes, they travel every year... (ie the money is there). Finally my father and brother in law said I’m so sorry but we can’t continue to work for you because we can’t afford it. THe uncle had plenty of heads up. They left and started their own company which has become wildly successful and did NOT take any of their old clients. 
Well... the uncle threatened them, refused to come to any family functions and has torn the family apart. My in laws now spend Christmas alone (a very big important family holiday to them) and have to coordinate who can see the other siblings/cousins/grandma because the uncle might be there and he would try to fight. Absolutely none of that drama was necessary. He could have adjusted to increase their pay to a reasonable wage or mentally separated family from business and just hired two more people to replace my in laws (by the way - he couldn’t - no one would work for that cheap or accomplish as much as they did and the business is suffering). 
So yeah, I get mad when families make business personal.

Answer

No you're not wrong to be worried about it, he's in the wrong for not understanding where your coming from. I'd maybe sit down and think about how much time you could set aside a week, like an hour or so, and help them out a little bit without giving up too much.

Answer

Are they just starting out and need help with getting things going? If they have the means to pay you, they absolutely should. It’s also wrong for them to get mad at you for declining

Am I wrong?

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