Stupid checks 😟

I don't know why I let the cervix checks bother me. I'm scheduled to be induced on the 18th, as long as my cervix cooperates. I'm trying at all costs to avoid c-section, but because I'm high risk they don't want me going any further than due. Induction itself increases c-section risk, which is also scary.

As of today, I'm closed and apparently hard (I was soft last time!!) I've been walking, having sex, bouncing.. Baby is extremely low at station +1, but my cervix is up behind him and doing nothing. I feel like everything I've done to help it along was in vain and all the pain means nothing..

I'm so deflated, exhausted, and beyond uncomfortable.. I was up all night with irregular contractions..

Sorry just had to vent.. Hopefully he makes his appearance on his own soon, this is stressing me out.