I know most of you will tell me “why the fuck would tell him, you should’ve just gotten over it.” Yes that is one way people deal with it but I couldn’t.

So I’m in a long distance marriage for 7 months now and it’s been hard. Most of our relationship we spent long distance and only got to be with each other for two weeks when we got married and had to separate again. In the last 7months I’ve only physically been with him for less than 20 days total. Because of our jobs, we only get to talk on the phone for maybe 10-30min a day, if that.

While he’s been in one place the whole time, I’ve been transferred to 3 places and now in Texas. Since I’ve been here I met someone who is really cool and our personality clicked. Honestly he reminds me a lot of my husband physically and personality wise. We became good friends. He just knows how to talk to me, and cheer me up. I know, I did seem emotionally available which is my mistake. By the nature of my job, it’s primarily male dominated and I’ve never been good at making female friends so my husband was worried about it since the beginning.

I will never ever cheat on my husband. I feel so horrible that I am even thinking about this guy a little. I miss my husband so much and I didn’t know how to deal with the empty space so I depended on this guy emotionally.

We never had physical contact, nor spend time one on one or anything like that. But I do think of him. So I was scared that if I feel any more lonelier that I might make a mistake which I would never forgive myself for.

So I told my husband. I told him there’s a guy who treats me nice and I’ve been so lonely lately. Him being here so close to me makes me miss my husband more and I’m telling my husband this because I want to be honest you we can work through it. If I told him I would never be able to find comfort in this new guy. So I told him to burn every bridge I have with this new guy.

As expected, my husband did not take it well. He cried, cussed, and blame me at times but himself mostly.

It’s a horrible thing I did and I regret ever letting my feeling get that far. But this was me stopping myself and being honest to my husband.

It’s taking a while for him to think things through and I understand. He keeps saying it’s not something he’ll get over easily and I know.

But lately he’s been making me feel more guilty that I even told him. He will not answer my calls or messages. If he does pick up, he doesn’t talk.

My emotions are starting to change too. In the past when he would hurt me, I was expected to forgive him right there and then. He would take off the condom without me knowing and when I found out he would cry and say he’s sorry and beg until I said it was okay. He would lie about deleting his social media and keep it from me until I found out. He told me he thought about sleeping with a girl he knows as a last hurrah before our marriage but he didn’t. And I had to be okay with it.

Why feeling like I’m being punished for being honest with him when I had to get over him lying to me. I know I’m not in the right but doesn’t matter who does wrong, I’m always apologizing. We always talk about having to honest and when I am, he pushes me away. I don’t know what to do from here.