My MIL has been very supportive and financially helpful during my pregnancy, which I am forever grateful for because this was an unplanned pregnancy and my SO and I were not financially prepared for a child. We are seniors in high school and were 17 around the time I got pregnant. Our daughter is due exactly one week after graduation.

When my MIL found out I was pregnant she was devastated (cried for 2 days) and told her son that she was heartbroken that his life was “ruined” and he wouldn’t have the life she wanted for him. As a soon to be mother, I can understand her feelings at that time. I would probably feel similar things if I were in her shoes. But anyway, for months she pretended I wasn’t pregnant and ignored the situation. But recently she has become more involved and I think she is excited for her grand baby to be here.

However, she has been overbearing in a few areas. My SO and I had invited her to an ultrasound and she came with us and loved it. She loved it so much she invited herself to the next 2 ultrasounds, even though neither of us actually invited her. We didn’t even know she planned on going until the morning of the appointments and she was up and ready to go saying “What time are we leaving for the appointment?” Also, around 26 weeks I had a scare (baby wasn’t moving frequently) so I went to the hospital to make sure everything was okay. My SO and I went alone together, and to our surprise, she met us there. On some level, I can understand, because her son is a teenager and regardless of him being 18 and having his own child on the way, he still lives under her roof, so she still has a lot of say-so. But I also think it’s common sense that regardless of our young age, we would like to experience our pregnancy as a family, and not have our parents breathing down our necks as if we’re 8 year olds getting our teeth drilled at the dentist.

Of course she’s not the worst MIL in the world. I’ve heard of worse stories of overbearing MIL’s during pregnancy and it sounds like I have it pretty good compared to what I’ve heard.

But still, I know she plans on being in the room when I have the baby. This is something I would really like to do alone, just me and my SO and the medical staff, and then our little girl. I want to share those moments in a private way. And I also don’t want her hanging out at the hospital too much while I’m laboring. Is that weird? Like I don’t want her sitting in the room the whole time breathing down our necks while I’m going through labor. I would like privacy before and during the delivery. Does that make sense or is that too much to ask? I’m considering making the birth a secret, and not telling anybody when we go to the hospital to have the baby. But the problem with that is my SO’s parents have an app to track him so they know where he is. I feel if they saw him at the hospital they would just invite themselves without asking first.

I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to break the news that I want a private labor.