So I want to compare husband/partner!

My amazing husband, we celebrated our first wedding anniversary on the 2nd of March 2019 now most couples I know would that a special day! And to a degree we did we went back to our wedding venue for lunch, that’s it! We had lunch in a pub (a beautiful pub)

coincidentally I’m ovulating, we have been trying for a baby for three years now, I have an 8 year old from a previous marriage and he had four from a previous marriage, so we can have kids, FYI I’m 28 and he’s 34. What I’m trying to get at is all moment for ‘baby making time’ seem to be lost! I’m not a sexual person my first child was result being sexual abuse and instigating intimacy is extremely difficult and when I do the answer is get is I’m too tired but then always argues we do t ‘do it enough’. I get tiredness from working and what now and no doubt he has a heart of gold we are in Australia and currently we have extramarital bush fires less then 10km from our house and he is a volunteer to help fight the fires. But I have done all the fertility tests I can and we are waiting on his one test before we can be referred to a specialist! Each time I mention it to him it turns into a screaming match, he says he wants a baby but is scared of the results! I don’t think he gets the same anxiety I get each month waiting for AF.

I feel like I’m in an endless war with trying for a baby.

It’s frustrating and heart taking.

I just dont get his brain and didn’t know where else to vent