So I am just over 2 weeks late for AF!! Yes, I have taken a pregnancy test - 3 of them actually and they all came back negative. I am irregular anyway. Once had AF for a fortnight and once didn’t have a period for 4 months. So I’m all over the place

I’m over 100kgs. I have PCOS, hypothyroidism and sleep apnea. I constantly feel like I’m battling an uphill battle - not only to fall pregnant but to lose weight

My husband and I have been married for less than a year, but we started trying a couple of years ago because it may be difficult for me to fall pregnant. So all up we have been trying for probably about 3-4 years

I know that it may not seem like a long time. But I was married once before and had been trying then as well - so that time was about 5 years. So all up I have been trying for close to 10 years

I’ve been hurt and devastated so many times. I wanna keep trying with my husband, it how do I keep him from getting heartbroken every month, or every time it doesn’t happen?

Being a mum is the only thing I grew up certain of. Not what career I wanted, but being a mum. And I can’t even handle being a woman or prospective mum. I know in my head and heart that I need to lose weight and that would give me a greater chance of falling pregnant.

But how do I make myself do it. How do I get back to what I was doing earlier last year.

I had lost nearly 15 kilos for our wedding and then we got married and it all fell down. I’m a failure as a mother before I even become one.

I’m struggling to get my head in the right space again!!!