I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I missed out on so much from my life. Not in the sense that I wasn’t fortunate enough to have great parents or enough money or anything, but like, in the sense of leading up to being 18... I missed the joys of playing a sport and forming close bonds with other people. I missed out on having a fun squad of girls that you go out or party with. I missed out on having a fun time at my prom (my then boyfriend’s toe was broken and so he didn’t dance with me once, he also hated those types of events, and we left early). I missed out on someone decent taking my virginity (my ex told me, WHILE WE WERE STILL DATING that what I gave him meant nothing to him, because he was emotionally abusive as fuck and didn’t give a shit about my feelings). I missed out on having a graduation party and inviting all my friends to come and celebrate with me. I just feel so left out of everything. My boyfriend now is amazing, and I love him, but he had the perfect high school career and life basically (he’s a little older than me). He still has all his friends from high school, is super social and friendly, knows everyone in our town, and everyone loves him. He dated a girl for 5 years throughout high school into college, and that’s really intimidating. I just think a lot about how much fun he was having in high school and the girl he was spending it with and how miserable I was at that age... idk man... okay, end of pity party.