Has your SO ever said they regret not hooking up with more people?
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and he’s afraid to commit because his parents got divorced when he was 5 and he says it was traumatic, but then he says he also hasn’t hooked up with anyone. He has never explicitly said that he wants to, but he did mention that he hasn’t. I’m his second sexual partner and he’s only had serious relationships and ours and his last were both almost the same length except the other was in high school and then he was single for like 5 years or something. I on the other hand had only been in casual sexual relationships relationships til him, so knowing that kinda scared me because I’ve always kinda had this fear that he’d start regretting not hooking up with people, especially as things got more serious. When I initially thought about this, it seemed kinda irrational and I even talked to my therapist about it and she assured me that it was just my anxiety and insecurities talking, but a couple nights ago he said something about never hooking up with other people like I have while talking about marriage and his commitment issues and why he’s not ready to talk about it and now I can’t get it out of my head. I cried and told him that has been a big fear of mine and I’d hoped he’d never say that and he kind of took it back and was trying to say he wasn’t thinking about it and it made me so confused. Our entire lives revolve around each other basically. We’re in culinary school, I like half live at his parents house with him, we work together!! I told my therapist about this and she was livid and started saying I should ask for a 3 month break for him to figure himself out and if he comes back he’s ready to commit, but I really don’t think that’s necessary and think maybe it’s just a desire he’d never act on, but another part of me is like what if I go like 4 more years when I want to get married and he’s still not ready and I’ve just wasted 4 more years of my life. I love him and don’t even want to be thinking about this because I’m one who is so against breaks, but maybe he’ll realize what he has and if he didn’t then I’ll have my answer and end it before we get more deep into this??? I’m just so lost right now. I love him, I know he loves me, he’s been so supportive of my journey coping with my sexual assaults, we talk about opening our own business together and he likes talking about like the wedding and like food we’d have, but just not the marriage and kids part. It’s like he’s just wants to move in together and just see how it goes and I just can’t live like that. What are your thoughts? Have you been in a similar situation in a/your relationship??
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