Seeing posts about failed marriage and hearing about divorces and shit makes me so nervous it’s unbelievable. He keeps talking about a wedding and kids and stuff but I don’t want to be a baby mama or an ex wife. Marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment and it’s tainted. I want to marry him because that’s SUPPOSED to be a step up in a relationship and it’s SUPPOSED to mean something. The more I see, the less I want to jump into it. So many people jump into relationships and are quick to have kids and get married and then it just crumbles. I’m terrified of that. Especially because of my love for him. I don’t want to lose him like that. I want a family and a loving husband, not a broken home. And I know that I’d have that but it makes me so anxious to even think about planning a wedding or changing my last name or ttc. I don’t know what to think