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HOW I DIED

As • Sat, Mar 09

I want to share with all of you the story of how I died. Here it goes..

Yesterday began as a normal day. I got up at 6:30, did my hair and my make up, got dressed, and ready for work. By 7:25, I was out the door.

I got to work by 8:00 and was sitting at my desk when I felt something. Something unwelcome. I got up and calmly walked to the restroom. It was then that I noticed the monthly bitch was paying me a visit. "WHY GOD WHY? WHY ME?" Were the words I shouted in agony. Just kidding, I just said them in my head. Luckily I keep all the things I may need at work under the sink, cause hey, I'm there more than I'm at home.

Everything seemed to be normal. Everything seemed to be okay.

Or so I thought.

Fast forward to today. This is a heavy flow day. Those happen, I get it. But this is not ordinary "heavy flow day". This is the wrath of God melting my uterus. This is the devil showing me who is boss. This is the bitch making me her bitch. This is hell.

I'm sitting in a drive thru on my way home from work cause my husband wants Burger King. Sure honey, I'll get it. I placed my order at 5:31, and 5:57 IM STILL SITTING THERE WAITING. I'm normally a very patient person, but keep in mind I have a fire breathing dragon in my body chewing up my uterus and spitting it out. So I call the restaurant from my car and say "hey guys, can we get a move on? Been here for a while now." Luckily my food was actually already done, so some kind worker just brought it out to me. PRAISE JESUS I DIDNT HAVE TO SIT THERE ANOTHER MINUTE.

I make it home. My husband is happy to see me, my dogs are happy to see me, and I run right by all three and head to the bathroom. This is what I find.

Blood.

BLOOD.

EVERYWHERE IS BLOOD.

I've bled through everything! My panties (which were new 😒) my jeans (which I just washed. Come on now, don't pretend you wash yours every time you wear them) AND THE SEAT OF MY CAR. My husband was kind enough to clean that for me. He's a sweetie.

So it is now 7:01 pm and I am sitting in a tub of water. Not only because I needed a bath because it looked like my thighs slaughtered a family of 5, but because this is the only place that feels safe for me right now.