Ever since I was kid, I have been lying. When I was younger it was stupid little lies, but now I’m 14 and I have lied so much. I found this amazing group of people who I love with all my heart. However, I lied about knowing these 2 dancer guys in Instagram. The lie kept growing and growing. Every time they asked something about him, I would just come up with another lie. The last two weeks or so, they’ve started to notice that things weren’t lining up. Two of them have been asking me questions about it lately and I continued to lie. I feel like absolute shit about this. I know it doesn’t seem like it because I lied to them, but I do love them. It all blew up tonight and I’ve been texting back and forth with the two about it. I just sent a huge message explaining to them how I lied. I didn’t lie about knowing the guys cause I do, but I did lie about riding a motorcycle one of them had and them living where I live even though they post about in California. I told them everything. I apologized as well. I understand if they hate me and never want to talk to me again. I also get if they tell everyone else I know what I did. Neither of them have responded and I’m so scared that I’ve lost them forever. I’m scared I hurt them. I’m having a panic attack while I write this which I totally deserve because I’m awful. Anyway, I really need help. I would prefer to do it by myself because my family isn’t excepting of the whole therapy thing or getting psychological help. Please help. Why am I always lying to people I claim I love? I feel awful about it. Yet, I kept doing it.