Dear Family,

And by family I mean my in laws. The following topics of conversations are off limits until further notice. And by conversations I mean you constantly bringing them up because you don’t agree with our choices as parents.

1. Education. This includes preschool and public schooling. Your grandson is only two with two parents that have the privilege of working from home and get to spend time with him all day long. We also have 3 more years to decide if public school is the choice we want to make or homeschooling.

2. Vaccinations. You were not here every single time your grandson had a reaction to the shots administered to him. You weren’t calling and bringing him back and forth to the doctor every month before they told us he had adverse reactions. You didn’t dig through hours of research trying to figure out what’s happening. You weren’t holding his nearly lifeless 1 year old body hysterically crying after his last one.

3. Breastfeeding. You have no say over what I do with my body. You have no idea all of the benefits It has for me and my child. Please stop trying to use my current pregnancy as a means to push our breastfeeding journey to an end.

4. Co-sleeping. This works for us. It’s not your bed. So I’m not sure why It effects you.

5. Home birth. Again you have no say over what I do with my body. You again were not there when I was left in the hospital room for 3 hours unchecked. When I told them I had to push I wasn’t taken seriously because I had only been in labor for 4 hours and I didn’t feel the contractions were unbearable. So when they realized I was crowning they held my child’s head inside of me while they waited for a doctor. You weren’t the ones treated like trash by staff. After a natural vaginal delivery with third degree tears I was made to feel like an addict when asking for a Motrin. And had to basically beg for pads and a clean gown because idk I guess I was going to steal them.

7. Baptizing. Your son and I do not identify as catholic. Your other sons girlfriend is Jewish, are you going to try to force those children to be baptized catholic as well?

6. “Relinquishing” control of my children. You do not get to come into my home and tell me that I’m going to have to start allowing you to take my son so that you can drive him around and have sleepovers.

Let me make myself clear. You brother in law see your nephew maybe once a month at a holiday. I don’t deny you love him. But you are not in the trenches every day with me raising him. Nor do you see him enough to make a scene in public about our choice to homeschool. As passionately as you may feel, you’ve never been a parent. You didn’t grow this child. You don’t teach him and <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.nurture">nurture</a> him day in and day out. Whatever passion you may feel for him, I am 1000x more passionate.

In laws, you’re polite enough about your opinions, however, you are parents so I’m surprised you would impose. I’m sure people did It to you. I would say that mostly I have decent in-laws based on horror stories I’ve heard. But you two also don’t put in the work. You come to our house for maybe an hour on a weekend if you’re in the area. Otherwise, we’re coming to you. An hour away. When we had a newborn. Because you weren’t feeling up to driving. But we’re talking about a woman that has severe psychological problems. You disabled your sons. You kept them in constant fear with your suicide attempts. You allowed my husband to become a depressed alcoholic before he was legally allowed to even drink. He barely graduated high school. He walked around with your debit card to fund his problem. You didn’t hold him accountable. Didn’t push therapy. Didn’t make him get a job like a normal person. And when I came around I was a problem for pushing him. He’s now successful. A good father. Depression and anxiety he struggles. But I’m no longer pulling him out of a drunken rabbit hole. You mother in law have had some sort of physical injure that has disabled you for the last decade. Always something different. I’ve seen you fly off the handle. Verbally abuse your family. Physically abuse your husband. Then jump in a car and fly out of your neighborhood. Then come home. Smoke weed. And pretend nothing happen. With all of this being said. How dare you come into my home and tell me how to parent when you have never been the best parents? I’m doing everything in my power to be the best mother I can. And I sure as F don’t want reoccurring opinions from you. I’m sure you did your best with your kids given your mental issues. But you had your shot. These children are mine. And I will die protecting them. My parents live across the street from me. They put in the work. They spend time with their grandchild. They sold their dream home that they built so that they could be closer to him. And they do not get to drive my son or have him overnight. I’m just not there yet. So, for you in-laws to expect to have that privilege, after the chaos I have seen in your home. You are delusional. My child’s safety will always come before your feelings. And I cannot trust that you for one can even keep up with him with your “injuries” and two that he wouldn’t see physical or verbal abuse or be caught in the middle of your crossfire.

And for all of this (and my new pregnancy hormones) you are no longer allowed to tell me how to parent.

Side note my husband knows 100% about how I feel. He’s 110% on my team and shuts them down when they bring this stuff up. However, It always has a way of making me feel like I’m inadequate for a day or so after.