Moping

A few days ago I got kicked out of my band. I play guitar and have been part of this band for 10+ years with my two best friends who are more like sisters to me. We've travelled the world together and have literally grown up from teens to adults together. I had a baby in 2017 and my fiance or mother watch him every weekend so I can play shows. A few weeks back my mother got injured and no one else could watch him at short notice, and so I had to ask a friend to fill in for me for the gig. She had already learned our songs because she filled in for us (for 3 gigs) while I took one month out when the baby was born.

I got a long message on our band group chat a few days ago saying I'd become a burden and was holding the band back and that my friend who covered me was going to be replacing me. I am heartbroken and just don't know what to do with myself. I'm putting a smile on for my son but he's been napping for an hour and I've just been miserable and moping the whole time. Usually this is my time for myself but I can't muster the energy or motivation to do anything. I just feel numb and empty. How can I pick myself up? It might sound dramatic but this band has been my life for over 10 years and this has just taken me totally by surprise. How do you grieve for something like this?