6 years

My husband and I have been trying for 6 years (off and on) for number 2. We gave it a real good go this cycle. Im now 2 days late. I'm afraid of everything, to go pee, of every cramp like feeling, of the nausea im having, to say anything, to get excited, and most of all to buy a test. I'm 35 years old. I'm not so sure I even want to be pregnant. I've excepted the idea this wasn't ever going to happen. We foster kids now. I don't know. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. I guess it's the safest place to say these things. So thanks.