Living like this sucks

I hate living with depression. It fucking sucks. I was diagnosed about 9 years ago. Every time I slip into another episode all I can think about is how was I this unlucky. Why do I have to live with this? No one else in my family has to. My best friends don’t know what it’s like. I know this isn’t true, but a lot of times it feels like I’m the only one in the world feeling the way I do. I feel like I have exhausted all my resources....therapy, meds, journaling, reading about other people’s experiences, exercise, everything. I have tried to be really proactive, but it is so fucking exhausting. Every time I slip downwards I try a different coping mechanism but nothing seems to help until I just slowly fade out of it. I guess I just want to know what you guys do to help...is there anything I could try when I start to feel myself slipping to turn it around? What about when I’m in the deepest of it all? I truly appreciate your advice. I just want to be happy and I refuse to believe it’s this hard. I just have to find something that works.