Despite myself and the wildness in my head, I am thankful.

I am thankful for a healthy body. After so many years struggling with an eating disorder, the lingering issues caused by that, and bipolar disorder, I see it as a miracle that I have such good health. I know I am very lucky for that.

I am thankful I have been able to get the help I’ve needed over the years. It has allowed me to become a stronger, more independent person than I would have ever thought possible. I am also thankful that the close people in my life can see how much I have grown into myself.

I am thankful for a loving family. We may be separated by hundreds or thousands of miles, but that will not lessen the bonds we have.

I am so thankful to have a supportive partner in life. He treats me with so much respect and kindness, especially when I cannot be kind to myself. He is so enthusiastic about me pursuing my dreams and encourages me to push beyond the anxieties that come with growth.

I am also thankful to be doing well in pregnancy. Tomorrow I enter the third trimester, and I have no idea how time has gone by so quickly. Each week, each day, we get closer to meeting our little one, and I hope she always knows how much she is loved. I want her to be able to experience life in a way that encourages her. I worry about being a good enough mother for her, but I am hopeful that all of the experiences in my past will help me to better guide my daughter through challenges she may face someday.

Each day I learn to be more gentle with myself. I hope that if you are reading this, that you feel loved, cared for, strong, and intelligent. I hope you feel capable. I hope you know someone is thankful you exist.