Idk why i feel this way

I need to vent and this is long and kind of hard for me to talk about....

I'm still pretty early. And I plan on taking to my doctor next week at my appointment. But I feel like I have no connection with my baby... I'm only 14 weeks but I feel so disconnected. I wanted to get pregnant so bad and I was excited to feel like I had a purpose for once but I'm so disconnected. We are having a girl and picked her name and I just. Idk I was on antidepressants before I found out and once I found out I stopped because the pill I was on increased the risk of miscarriage. (doctor approved of it first and said my hormones should be enough to keep me straight). I feel like when my baby girl is born I'm not going to want to be with her and that I'll be the one to suffer from ppd.. and I don't want that. How long did it take for you to feel connected?? I just feel like my life is no where near where I want it to be and I can't wait until after I have the baby to start losing weight. Like I'm ready to have her so I can start my keto, low carb, hard core work out again. I lost 10 pounds in a week that's how hard I was going and then found out I was pregnant. Since I've lost ,15 more pounds (not trying) and now I'm just. Really regretting everything... I feel like I'm gonna be a bad mom. And that I'm gonna mess up something. And I want to lose weight because my mom was overweight my entire life and I feel like I missed out on doing so much with her because of it and I don't want my daughter to be going to a theme park and have to ask her 100# daddy why her #340 mom isn't riding rides with her like I did... Please tell me I'm gonna get the connection with my daughter because I can't talk to my husband about it...